The First Ever MulchPile “Best Movie Character Driver” Power Rankings

What’s this? A non-basketball post? I’ll admit I may have gotten a little too hoops-centric as of late (by “as of late” I mean yesterday, since I barely ever write anymore – I’m not proud of this), but it’s also NBA Playoff time, and with a maximum of seven games left in the season, I’m trying to get my money’s worth.

But perhaps just as great as basketball is summer movie season, which is upon us! Obviously, the most successful box office hit recently has been Fast and Furious 6, and for good reason, since it’s absolutely awesome. I haven’t even seen it yet, but I just know.

For the record, I was planning on seeing it the day it came out, but I decided to make my girlfriend watch the first five movies first so I could make her go with me, and this has taken longer than anticipated. We had to stop the other night right after the Dom vs. Hobbs battle royale in Fast Five, which, if you don’t remember, is the greatest moment in modern cinema. So hopefully we’ll get out and see number six soon.

But in the meantime, all of this “Fast and Something” hoopla has inspired me to think about the best driver characters in movie history. This started with a tweet I saw from ESPN’s Michael Smith on a similar topic, and then turned into a massive text discussion thread between me and my friends. Seriously, I’ve been thinking about this for weeks.

So the rankings below are the result of extensive discussion, countless hours of movie-viewing and research, and well-informed speculation. I present to you, The MulchPile’s first ever Best Movie Character Driver Power Rankings. My family must be so proud. Continue reading

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How to Win the Lottery – Not the PowerBall, You Nitwits!

In case you didn’t know, today is one of my favorite days in the NBA: the Draft Lottery! Today we get to see the NBA’s corruption justice system at work, as the league’s worst 14 teams find out their position in the upcoming NBA Draft.

Honestly, the event itself is super lame, but the unintentional comedy is unbelievable. Imagine watching The Bachelor results, except instead of 14 gorgeous women you have 14 goofy owners/team executives. Not only are the celebrations top notch, but even better are the begrudging golf claps from the teams who “lose.” Don’t believe me? Check this out:

Unbelievable, right? Is there anything funnier than watching plump, dorky, extremely rich guys celebrate without trying to rub it into everyone else’s faces on national TV? Actually yes, there is. I offer some suggestions to improve the NBA Draft Lottery: Continue reading

Return from Hiatus! – NBA Playoff Predictions, Two Week Recap, and More

In case you haven’t noticed  (which is probably most of you), it’s been about 19 days since my last post, which is, ahem, quite a long time. I don’t really have a great excuse except that I’ve been interviewing for a job, which has occupied most of my attention, and then took a beach vacation where there was no wifi. Either way, it’s been way too long since I’ve put anything up, and for that I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again. It didn’t mean anything! I didn’t even know her last name! Yes I used protection! Just don’t tell the kids… Continue reading