The Midseason Report Card Awards Award-Fest Report

So we’re at week nine of this fabulous fantasy season (and real NFL season too, I suppose), which, for those of us who are mathematically challenged, is approximately midway through the year. What better time to take stock of where our teams stand and where we project for the rest of the year? Or, more accurately, what better time to make fun of Joel and Patrick’s hilariously bad teams and to brag about my insanely loaded undefeated fake-football juggernaut?

We’ll do a quick little team by team breakdown with some categories. Don’t worry, you’ll catch on quick. We’ll go in order by current place in the standings (On second thought, I might just write 12 entries about my team).

  1. The Raymakers

Mid-Season MVP: Jordy Nelson

Jordy has been an absolute monster all year, and has carried my admittedly mediocre (or at least formerly mediocre) receiving corps all season thus far. If Nelson weren’t so studly so far, I’d probably have liver disease by now.

Mid-Season LVP: Lesean McCoy

It’s not like McCoy has been awful, and he’s had perfectly reasonable excuses for his average-level numbers, but your number one pick needs to be the best player on your team. To this point, McCoy hasn’t been that. With that said, the Eagles’ O-line is getting healthier, and Shady has looked a little springier with his touches. Call me a homer, but I have faith.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Ahmad Bradshaw

Bradshaw is the number fifth highest-scoring running back so far. And I got him with the 144th pick in the draft. Is this how Sam Hinkie feels all the time?

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Torrey Smith

I’ll admit that I totally whiffed on Smith in the fifth round this year…but then I flipped him for TY Hilton. I repeat, is this how Sam Hinkie feels all the time?!?!

Best/Worst Transaction

I was going to say the Hilton deal, but then I traded Allen Robinson, Reuben Randle, and Jeremy Hill for Calvin Johnson. They’re going to make a Kevin Costner movie about that trade (that’s the first Draft Day reference for those of you keeping score at home).

Three sentences about the future

My 8-0 start is a symptom of a great draft; by finding value in the late rounds, I was able to parlay combinations of my bench players into high-level starters, which allowed me to overcome my shortcomings at WR. With my three WRs and RBs now probably all top 15 plays for the rest of the year, I’m loaded for rest of the season and playoffs. But with six players on a bye this week, Todd’s going to hand me my first (and probably only) loss of the season.

Overall Midseason Grade: A (if I had drafted better WRs from the get-go, this would have been an A+).

  1. The Raymakers


Just Kidding.

  1. (Trophies)

Mid-Season MVP: Peyton Manning

Isn’t it amazing that Manning is having a worse year than last year? Every year, I talk myself out of drafting Manning early, but it seems like every time someone owns Peyton Manning in fantasy, they’re near the top of the standings. Sort of like real life.

Mid-Season LVP: AJ Green

Kind of tough to say, since Todd has flipped basically his entire team since the draft, so no single specific player has let him down all year. But AJ Green’s lack of health is crippling for fantasy owners, and Todd is his unfortunate owner.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Golden Tate

There was no way to predict Calvin Johnson’s injury, but that doesn’t make Tate less of a steal where Todd drafted him. Tate was primed for a breakout year next to Calvin, and when after being upgraded to the lead receiver of the Lions in the first half of the year, he’s produced like crazy.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Ben Tate

When your third pick isn’t on your roster anymore, that’s a bad sign.

Best/Worst Transaction

I think when Todd stole Leveon Bell, we all collectively sighed, “God Damnit, Biller….”

Three sentences about the future

Todd will beat me this week to improve to 7-1 on the year, and with AJ Green finally coming back, he’s in decent shape to make a playoff run, especially if Josh Gordon comes back and contributes. I didn’t trust his running backs before the Bell trade, but now he has enough production there to get by. The true test will be how Todd handles bye weeks with limited depth, but given how well he’s wheeled and dealed so far, you have to think he’ll figure it out.

Overall Midseason Grade: B+ (Todd’s saved himself with timely trades and BY FAR the easiest schedule to date).

  1. The Transfer

Mid-Season MVP: Matt Forte

Forte has been so much to the Bears this year, I’m kind of surprised he isn’t playing middle linebacker for them yet. At this point, you’re just going to ride the Forte wave and pray he doesn’t get hurt.

Mid-Season LVP: Alshon Jeffery

Supposed to have a monster season, Jeffery has been a huge disappointment so far. There’s nothing worse than a guy you no longer feel comfortable starting, but also can’t cut because he’s still so valuable. We’ll see if Alshon turns it around.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Cam Newton

It’s not like Newton has set the world on fire, but to get his starting QB that late in the draft allowed Danny to take chances with his earlier picks.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Roddy White

So much for his comeback year.

Best/Worst Transaction

Cutting Mark Ingram was too premature – with an injured guy that early in the season, you can usually afford to stash him. Danny could really use him right about now.

Three sentences about the future

Besides Forte, there isn’t really anyone on Danny’s team who pops out as a rest-of-year stud. But if Gio Bernard and Alshon Jeffery get going, then all of a sudden you don’t feel quite as nervous about starting guys like Beckham and Hawkins. I’m not super high on Danny’s rest of season prospects, but what do I know?

Overall Midseason Grade: B (maybe Patrick and Danny secretly switched teams and we just don’t know it! If that’s true, this grade gets bumped up to an A-)

  1. The EJ Fanboys

Mid-Season MVP: Demaryius Thomas

Kudos to Ritter for staying patient with Thomas. I tried desperately to buy him low a few weeks ago, but Ritter stuck with him and now he’s arguably the top asset in all of Fantasy Footbal.

Mid-Season LVP: Keenan Allen

As good as Phillip Rivers and the Chargers have been, it’s baffling that Allen hasn’t lived up to expectations. He’s one of those guys you have to start every week, but every week you do, your penis shrinks a little bit out of nervousness.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Tom Brady

We had to all know that Brady was going to figure it out eventually this year, right? We’re all morons for passing on him earlier in the draft.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Ray Rice

Ritter’s thought process when drafting Rice: “I’ve done worse things in an elevator, and I never got suspended from anything…”

Best/Worst Transaction

Ritter was ahead of the curve on Jerick McKinnon. When you can pick up a guy off waivers in September and he’s your starter on Halloween weekend, you’ve done something right.

Three sentences about the future

Ritter has to like where he stands, considering that Brady seems to only be getting better and that his wide receivers haven’t even peaked yet (especially Julio). If he can find another running back to bolster his weakness there, it’s playoffs fa sho. Problem is, running backs don’t just fall from the sky.

Overall Midseason Grade: B (can’t argue with a four game winning streak).

  1. The Commish

Mid-Season MVP: Andrew Luck

The number one QB in fantasy, and he’s not showing any signs of slowing down. If I’m smart, which I am, I’m investing in every Colts player I can right now for the second half of the season, which I am.

Mid-Season LVP: Michael Crabtree

Everyone thought this would be the year that Crabtree finally played like a legit number one wide receiver, but it just hasn’t happened. Crab’s lack of production has been the main hole in Nick’s roster all year.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Emmanuel Sanders

Sanders has been phenomenal, and Nick did an excellent job getting him in the late fifth round. You have to think that Sanders’ TD rate will improve moving forward, too.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Pierre Garcon

I wasn’t high on Garcon this year because I thought he’d lose targets to Desean Jackson and Jordan Reed, but instead it turns out the Redskins are just bad. With that said, Nick was able to flip him early enough to land Luck, which was huge.

Best/Worst Transaction

(See above) – Selling Garcon before it was too late let Nick get the best QB in our silly little game. Couple that with the fact that Ridley isn’t playing anymore this year and you have yourself a lopsided trade. Once again, “God Damnit, Biller…”

Three sentences about the future

There’s a reason Nick is the top scorer in the league, and as long as he gets into the playoffs, he’s going to be a force, especially if Graham gets healthy again. He needs to find one more WR to be a complete team, though. Also, I’d try to flip Gore and another asset for an upgraded RB – I just don’t think he has anything left in the tank.

Overall Midseason Grade: A- (losses are losses, thank goodness).

  1. Poole’s Team


Mid-Season MVP: Arian Foster

Foster’s been massive, but like Forte, it feels like you’re just waiting for him to get injured and derail your entire team. But until then, you enjoy the scoring and pray for the best.

Mid-Season LVP: Doug Martin

Basically the only thing he has going for him at this point is his first name.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Dwayne Bowe


Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Adrian Peterson

The fact that Poole is in the playoff hunt after drafting Peterson second overall deserves a Toyota Yahoo! Sports Medal or whatever those things are.

Best/Worst Transaction

Love love LOVED the Mike Wallace deal. I’m still super high on him.

Three sentences about the future

With Foster and Phillip Rivers, Poole has a shot at getting into the playoffs. Something tells me that DeAndre Hopkins hasn’t seen his best games yet this season (like this week against Philly), and doesn’t Vick-to-Harvin just seem like destiny? Plus, with Dwayne Bowe, you have to feel confident no matter what.

Overall Midseason Grade: B- (if Poole would stop wasting Bowe on his bench, this would be an A+).

  1. Legion of Toon


Mid-Season MVP: Antonio Brown

He’s quietly having one of the best long-term receiving runs in league history. It’s been something like 20 consecutive weeks that Brown has recorded five or more catches in a game. The guy is a bonafide stud and is the reason Andrew is still in the hunt.

Mid-Season LVP: Cordarrelle Patterson

So much for the breakout season. Patterson’s been a bust all year, and isn’t showing any legitimate signs of figuring it out this year.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: TY Hilton

Getting Hilton in the 5th round turned out to be one of the best steals of the draft – Hilton has been a monster all year and if his TD rate balances out, he could end up being a top 20 asset. Too bad he plays for the Raymakers!

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Cordarrelle Patterson

Congrats to Patterson for being the first player in this write up to be named the LVP AND worst draft pick. We call that “The Ritter.” Not sure why, but it just feels appropriate, doesn’t it?

Best/Worst Transaction

In case you couldn’t tell already, I think Drew grossly undervalued Hilton when he traded him to me. That’s a deal he’s going to regret if he misses the playoffs.

Three sentences about the future

Antonio Brown is going to give Drew a shot at winning every week, and if Vereen ends up getting a permanent volume bump after Ridley getting hurt, Drew might be okay. But I’m not sure I see a playoff run for the Toon Goons this year.

Overall Midseason Grade: C- (Plus, screw Dallas).

  1. Ciroc Boys


Mid-Season MVP: Aaron Rodgers

Rodgers overcame some early-season worries and has been the stud Terrence expected him to be. Expect Rodgers to continue his awesomeness all year and to help the Ciroc Boys make a little late-season surge.

Mid-Season LVP: Brandon Marshall

I’m not giving up on Marshall yet, but he’s been an epic disappointment. Besides his one three-touchdown game, he’s been almost non-existent all year. At some point though, the Bears will have to start involving people other than Forte in the passing game, and Brandonius will turn things around. Maybe.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Jeremy Maclin

A target vacuum, Maclin is one of the most reliable assets in fantasy right now, and with the Eagles’ offensive line recovering slowly, the best should be yet to come. Plus, Nick Foles can’t play any worse (at least I hope so).

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: CJ Spiller

Well Terrence, at least you didn’t draft him third overall like I did last year!

Best/Worst Transaction

I love the deal Terrence just made for Alfred Morris. With Bobby Griff coming back, I think Morris could have a big time rest of the season. And what T-Raw gave up doesn’t affect his core of starters at all.

Three sentences about the future

I could definitely see Terrence ripping off a few wins here and competing for a playoff spot. If Marshall improves and Bush finally gets healthy, all of a sudden this is a team with not too many holes.

Overall Midseason Grade: C+ (credit to Terrence for only making five roster moves all season – that’s what I call trusting in the process!).

  1. Gabbert’s Go To Guys


Mid-Season MVP: DeMarco Murray

Pretty obvious one here. Murray has been so outrageously effective that he fumbles every game and it doesn’t even matter. The underrated part of his game is the 26 receptions he has in addition to his thousand yards on the ground already.

Mid-Season LVP: DeSean Jackson


Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Russell Wilson

I thought Wilson was a major reach when Heath drafted him, but he’s been the only consistent piece of Seattle’s offense so far. Throw in some monster rushing games, and Wilson is a big time player moving forward.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: DeSean Jackson

Seriously, screw that guy.

Best/Worst Transaction

I think Heath won that megadeal with Todd earlier in the season. To this point, Julius Thomas has been the best player from that deal, so I guess that’s a good thing for him.

Three sentences about the future

For a 2-6 team, Heath’s squad is awfully loaded. He’s had a brutal schedule so far, and will need some help to make the playoffs, but if he gets on a roll here soon it wouldn’t shock me. If it were me, I’d trade Murray and Julius Thomas before they level off and get a bunch of buy low guys to try and make a big time run.

Overall Midseason Grade: C+ (It’s amazing to me that the owner of Demarco Murray can be 2-6, but Heath gets credit for at least having him).

10. Michael’s Team


Mid-Season MVP: Leveon Bell


Mid-Season LVP: Marshawn Lynch

It looks like the wear and tear of Lynch’s volume from the past few years has finally caught up to him. That, plus the effects of a Skittle-heavy diet.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Andrew Luck

Fourth round for Luck is clearly now great value for the best QB in fantasy football.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Vernon Davis

I honestly don’t have a clue what Davis’s stats have been this year. I’m guessing that’s a bad thing.

Best/Worst Transaction

Biller somehow found a way to trade Andrew Luck AND Leveon Bell by week 8. “God Damnit, Biller…” I hated the Bell deal a lot more, though – I just don’t think Edelman has much upside, especially with Gronk being 100% back, and I would avoid all Jets like ebola (too soon?).

Three sentences about the future

Biller showed a lot of promise early on, but I think he derailed himself via trade. I would move Cobb now to try and fill some holes while his value is sky high. Sentence number three.

Overall Midseason Grade: D (most moves that Biller has made have negatively impacted his team).

11. The Patrickstanis


Mid-Season MVP: Drew Brees

As a team, the Saints have been iffy, but Brees is still himself. He’s still a big time fantasy QB and will only improve when Graham is fully healthy again. Don’t forget that the Saints are super banged up in the backfield, so Brees might be throwing even more than often.

Mid-Season LVP: Toby Gerhart

Remember when this guy was going to be a borderline RB1? Neither does Patrick.

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Lamar Miller

Miller in the 9th round was a great pick for Patrick. I don’t think he should’ve given him up for anything.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Montee Ball

All of the logic was there – lead back in a Peyton Manning offense, young, explosive, good out of the backfield. Somehow it just didn’t work. When you whiff on your first pick, you lose. It’s that simple.

Best/Worst Transaction

I didn’t like the deal for Charles. Miller might be a better straight up commodity at this point, and Knile Davis offered no value in that trade. Megatron is still way ahead of Watkins, and the gap between Foles and Brees isn’t that huge from a weekly scoring standpoint.

Three sentences about the future

Welp, Patrick could try to play spoiler at this point. The playoffs are probably a pipe dream, so the least he could do is trade me Charles. Patrick, if you blame being in Pakistan on your crusty team, I’ll smack you.

Overall Midseason Grade: D (can’t blame Patrick for most of his moves – the fact is he just missed on most of them).


12. Camel Jockeys


Mid-Season MVP: Lamar Miller

With no Moreno in the picture, Miller has lived up to expectations. He’s Joel’s biggest remaining asset, and might singlehandedly win him a few games down the stretch.

Mid-Season LVP: Marques Colston

We all knew that Colston would be fighting with the other mouths of NO, but we didn’t think it would be this bad…

Best Draft Pick after eight weeks: Arian Foster

Getting a top 5 back in the second round is fantastic. Trading him away is not.

Worst Draft Pick after eight weeks: Zac Stacy

Remember him? This guy was supposed to be good!

Best/Worst Transaction

Watching the Camel Jockeys trade is like watching this guy describe a Chevy. Joel at some point this year has owned Jamaal Charles, Arian Foster, Mike Wallace, Sammy Watkins, DeAndre Hopkins, and Calvin Johnson. He now owns none of them. I might stop trading if I were you (thanks for Calvin though!).

Three sentences about the future

In order to go 1-7, something has to have gone wrong. In this case, Joel over-tinkered with his team and it cost him. Love you bro!

Overall Midseason Grade: F+ (the plus is for trading me Megatron).

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