You’d been talking to your therapist about it for months.
The date was June 26th, 2013, and everything about your day was normal. You woke up, checked your twitter, and giggled with anticipation when you saw that a new TheMulchPile post was up. You thought to yourself, “I hope mornings like this continue to happen for the foreseeable future.” You read the clever little piece on the NBA draft, went through your day, and went to bed.
The next morning, there was no post, which was fine. It’s not like TheMulchPile had new stuff up every day, so there was no need to panic. But then the next day, there was nothing new. And nothing the day after that. Or the day after.
Two weeks went by, and still nothing new came up on TheMulchPile. You began to feel angry, then guilty, wondering if you did something wrong. Does Doug not care about me anymore? Doesn’t he know I read every post? You ripped up the TheMulchPile picture you had in your room, deleted the site from your favorites bar, and decided to move on.
Time to time, you checked in, just to see what it was up to. You might not have been together anymore, but if the site were doing well, you’d be happy for it. But, still nothing.
Then, on June 14th, 2014, a new post popped up on TheMulchPile. Who does he think he is? He can’t just barge back into my life like nothing happened! I’ve grown up, I can’t trust someone who disappears for a year with no warning. But then you started thinking about all the great times you had together, and that maybe TheMulchPile had a perfectly good reason to not post anything for over 300 days.
You met for a drink, and TheMulchPile was still hilarious and clever, and you both fell right back into your old rhythm. The next morning, you woke up in the same bed, and decided you’d give it another shot, no matter what your parents thought.
So um, long time no write, eh? For the seven of you wondering, it was not my intention nearly a year ago to just call it quits on the site. TheMulchPile was gaining some serious traction and readership was at an all time high; the last thing I wanted to do was throw that away by completely abandoning something that I had worked very hard on (being insightful and sharp and witty ain’t as easy as it looks). Yet, that’s exactly what happened. I got a big boy job, moved to a new city, and became “too busy to write.” I sold out, joined corporate America, and my wannabe professional writing aspirations fell by the wayside as my life got fuller and fuller.
Wow, that just got way too serious. Long story short, lots of stuff has happened in the past year, I started getting paid to do stuff other than write, and therefore it became hard to find time to write for free when there was other stuff the people paying you needed to you to do.
So, let’s get caught up, shall we? Since my last post, the following things have happened:
- I got engaged to a girl who is going to let me wear Jordans to my wedding reception
- I got a job (We know, Doug. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID JOB!)
- I moved to Atlanta
- I moved to Columbia (not the place where they make the drugs, but the place where everyone talks and moves like they’re on drugs)
- The Philadelphia 76ers lost 63 more professional basketball games than I’ve written posts
- Tiger Woods won as many majors as I’ve written posts
- Peyton Manning threw 55 more touchdowns than I’ve written posts
- The Miami Heat turned into the 2009 Cleveland Cavaliers
- (Sorry none of these were very funny – I’m a little rusty)
Anywho, I’m not making any promises about the output on here moving forward, but I am vowing to at least try to get back into the swing of this writing thing. There’s just too much Mulchy goodness not to blog about, from the World Cup, to the NBA Finals/Draft/Donald-Sterling-Being-Racist, to football coming up (and more importantly, fantasy football), to the Golden Age of television, to summer blockbuster movie season (if only WHITE HOUSE DOWN 2 was on the docket), to a summer of sneaker launches, to rap albums/mixtapes dropping (Tha Carter V will either be really good, decent, okay, lame, disappointing, or abysmal), and so forth.
So, the plan, as it basically has been since the get go, is to write as the mood strikes, when I feel my opinion must be shared. I’d say it’s fair to expect some really solid writing and lots of activity, to have it tail off, and ultimately fade into non-existence within a few weeks.
But hey, here’s to hoping I prove myself wrong.