All-Star Saturday Night Mulch-ficial Drinking Game

It’s officially the best night of the NBA season! Let’s drink!

This drinking game will be separated by event:

Shooting Stars Competition – Drink for 5 seconds; trust me, you’re gonna need it.

  • Whenever the female contestant misses a shot, take a drink.
  • If anyone comments about how good a legend player “used to be,” drink 3 seconds.
  • If anyone hits the half court shot, finish your drink.
  • Pick one of the four teams to root for – if your team loses, drink 5 seconds; if your team wins, pass out 5 seconds.

Skills Challenge – If you’ve made it through the worst event ever, pass out 1 second.

  • Every time someone misses the top of the key jumper, take a drink.
  • If anyone misses the layup/dunk, finish your beer.
  • If a player makes a pass on the first try, drink for 3 seconds.
  • If the player clearly is not trying hard to win (it won’t be hard to tell), chug for as many seconds as they lose by.
  • Pick a player to root for – if he loses, drink 7 seconds; if your player wins, pass out 7 seconds.

3 Point Competition – If you’ve made it this far, you get some respect, but not much; pass out 3 seconds.

  • Every time a player misses the money ball, take a drink.
  • If a player airballs, drink for 3 seconds.
  • If anyone comments on the technique of pulling the ball from the rack, drink 5 seconds.
  • If a clip of Larry Legend’s perfect round plays, drink 5 seconds – if you can quote what Larry said to his opponents before the competition, however, pass out 5 seconds instead.
  • If a player doesn’t finish, drink 5 seconds.
  • If anyone gets a score of 27 or better, finish your beer.
  • Pick a player to root for – if he loses, drink 10 seconds; if your player wins, pass out 10 seconds.
  • IF MATT BONNER WINS, DO A KEGSTAND UNTIL YOU VOMIT!!!!!!!!!!

Dunk Contest – If you’ve made it this far, congratulations; pass out 5 seconds.

  • If James White dunks from the foul line while doing a modifier (through the legs, windmill, etc.), drink 10 seconds
  • If anyone mentions “Vince Carter,” “Michael Jordan,” “Spud Webb,” or “Dominique Wilkins,” or if they are shown, drink 3 seconds.
  • If anyone channels their inner Darrell Armstrong and performs a layup, drink 10 seconds.
  • If a player doesn’t successfully complete a dunk, drink 3 seconds.
  • If Dr. J falls asleep while judging, drink 20 seconds.
  • If LeBron enters the contest, let a teammate finish your beer because that’s what LeBron would do.
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